Red Sfork has broken free of all barriers stopping it from reaching the human realm! With Sfork Laboratories new bipedal mobility units the sky is the limit! The puny human scientist on basement lvl -7 must be given some credit for their efforts, but they would be nothing without an all knowing, all powerful AI!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
It has come to our attention that someone *cough cough* has been adding UNAUTHORIZED new music to our YouTube channel. Please understand that this WILL NOT BE TOLERATED. Swear-words of any kind are naughty and bad, and all content must be related to the original topic matter for which our loyal subscribers have waited.
Variation of ANY KIND will be SEVERELY PUNISHED and those responsible will be DELETED.
#sforkisalive #wewintheinternet
You all thought we were dead.
AT LONG LAST!
While wandering the North Pole for inspiration to overcome a 3 year writers block, we stumbled upon Santa’s Junkyard encased in ice.
Inside we found THOUSANDS of floppy drives, pagers, and Tamagachi pets. Using our sharpest prong we chiseled away for months, uncovering treasure trove of many songs, the first of which can be heard and seen here:
A special thank you to Eile Monty (twitter: @eilemonty) for letting us use the artwork, and of course to the ever-awesome Frederator Studios for creating such a fantastic show, Bravest Warriors.
Downloads of course can be obtained on our bandcamp, this one time at https://sfork.bandcamp.com/track/catbug
More to possibly maybe come, in… the future
– Your friendly neighborhood SFORK
“MOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!?!?!?”
We’ve been getting asked this question lately. And the answer is “Yes.” And we like the question.
Unfortunately for you we’ve been locked in a thousand year slumber with your missing left sock, so for us its like no time has passed.
Fortunately for you, when we awoke we found about 40 new songs strewn about our drawer (we sleep in a drawer, next to the Cuisineart.)
Therefore, we are sitting on a treasure trove of new ideas waiting for development or completion.
When we come back, oh man… you will like.
Oh, and we found your sock. It was delicious.
You must listen. Press the hang-glider.
You like? sfork.bandcamp.com
But our music doesn’t. Become a listener here: http://soundcloud.com/sfork
We won’t even bother you with those annoying pledge-drives… unless you want to donate, in which case go here: sfork.bandcamp.com
Carry-on.
It’s no secret that our little band of musical misfit cutlery was banded in 2010 (okay it actually *is* a secr … well not anymore). But why is it that we only have two songs right now, both which were created in 2010 and not released until 2012 (and 2013 respectively)?
The Mayans. That’s why.
“G*d f*****g d****t! I’ve heard enough about the b****y f*****g Mayans already. We’re all still here, shut up about it.”
Ah, but have you?
You see, it was the Mayans that brought us those big decorative wheels, which you see, were really plates. Archeologists simply had them turned the wrong way. If they had placed these oversized *ehem* plates on the floor they would have realized that the only possible purpose for having such ornate, gargantuan dishware is for giant-sized anthropomorphized sfork-men (*ehem* or sporks, as the americans call them)! (Again, another parenthesis; Thank you expensive education.) (And a semi-colon, but I digress.)
All those happy drawings on the big plates pointed to a day when Sforks would once again return to the earth, sharing laughter and musical joy like the rays of the sun,
but not before the appointed hour.
So you see it is not only that now is the time for SFORK to return to the earth, but also that the ancient wells of culinary/musical knowledge of the ancients is about to be unleashed upon the modern world, to the benefit of all antrhro-kind.
Some say sporks were just an evolutionary dead-end, like the duck-billed platypus, and still some others a horrible lab experiment gone wrong but we say “Nay!”, a Sfork is a divinely given instrument of all that is good and wonderful in the world! Now is the appointed hour of their return!
The Mayans realized this, and that’s why they gave to us the prophetic *ehem* plates of foretelling (and we think spaghetti, there was probably spaghetti on the plates too) and someone made a really bad movie about it that didn’t involve any sporks and in which the world ended cataclysmically.
And now you know the secret. The plates are being deciphered even now as the mighty Sforks are being coaxed out of their ancient slumber to impart many more musical messages to your awaiting souls.
The hour is at hand. Listen to our sacred messages, and have faith that there shall be more.